How To Ruin Your Life

“The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary.” — Vince Lombardi

If there’s one pattern i’ve noticed nowadays, it’s that people believe life is supposed to be easy

They do not want to work hard, they do not want to accept reality, they would rather fight a truth than face it

I was that person for the longest time

I used to believe i deserve everything, that i shouldn’t have to struggle for anything because I am a unique combination of neurons who has done the world a favor just by being in it

Newsflash, that’s not true

It wasn’t in my case, and it isn’t in yours

If you don’t want to believe me, here are some steps (in no particular order) to ruin your life:

1. Think You’re Special

Your problems are unique.

Let life get in the way. Use it as an excuse. Act helpless when people remind you that you are a fully functioning, responsible adult.

Don’t you dare adapt to life’s uncertainty.

Overindulge in self care. You deserve it. Life is hard. You need to relax. Challenges aren’t normal. Wait till everything becomes perfect. Remember, you’re not avoiding anything, you’re “processing everything”

Forget how the world actually works. You’re the most important. The universe should pause its rotation for your convenience.

2. Wait For A Miracle

“I will do it.”

“I know what to do, I’m just waiting for…”

Keep saying one day. Don’t set a date. Don’t have a plan. Have zero sense of urgency.

When people ask how your goal is going, try to sound smart when you know you haven’t even started:

“I’m in the ideation phase.“

“I am validating the logical sequence of steps it would take me to achieve my goal.”

Let this lead to regrets. Become resentful of others who are taking action. Blame their results on everything external. Privilege. Luck. Connections. Anything but your own choices.

3. Never Struggle

Gather the courage to commit to a goal. For example: A week of learning a skill.

Try to find the perfect video on YouTube. Get overwhelmed by the complexities. Do not even think of opening your mind or giving yourself time to learn.

“This model won’t work for me because I’m not fortunate enough to be born in a rich country or with any resources.”

Fight the urge to grab your phone and scroll mindlessly. Fail. Then get frustrated and scream “I knew everything was a scam.”

At the sign of any little inconvenience, it’s your duty to abort. The path to your goal should be easy.

4. Look For Problems Everywhere

Think of all the reasons why it won’t work.

Focus on that. Don’t you dare consider any favorable outcome. Be that person who can spot a problem in every solution. Hang around pessimists who validate your worldview.

Believe the government has screwed up the world and Artificial Intelligence will eventually replace you. Accept this fact. Let it make your life feel meaningless.

5. Have a Massive Ego

You know everything.

How dare anyone correct you?

You can't make mistakes. You can never be wrong. You don’t need to fix yourself. You are the expert of experts.

Reject feedback like it’s a personal attack.

Your way or the highway.

6. Don’t Start Without A Foolproof Plan

What could go wrong if you start imperfectly? Everything.Perfect every little detail. Wait till you magically figure out the best moves. Fantasize strategies.

Remember: It’s all or nothing. There’s no room for messy, beautiful, natural human imperfection. You will never get another chance. You’ve gotta get this right the first time.

7. Live in the Past

Your mistakes, regrets, and failures?

Hold on to them tight. Let them define you. Let them scare you. Let them be the reason you can’t move forward.

Don’t learn from them, just keep rehashing every mistake till the thought of a better future feels impossible.

Never look forward, never try to become a better person, the past is all you need to focus on.

If you follow these steps, you’ll successfully ruin your life.

I guarantee.